I can not claim poverty. I have seen poverty in Haiti and I live in luxury. In my early years as a single dad I collected food stamps and financial subsidies, but I still have a hard time looking back and describing my financial state as poverty stricken.
None the less, I have always been a penny pincher. As a kid, I'd save all my birthday money and Christmas money and allowance to buy a single Lego set. When my friends were spending their money on garbage pale kids and gummy rats, I kept my hands in my pockets so the money wouldn't somehow fly away. My family teased me when I came back from a trip to Circus Circus in Vegas with my Grandmother and still had half the money she had given me to play video games; my cousin had blown through the money in less than 30 minutes while I examined each and every game to see if the few minutes of pleasure would out way the loss of funds.
So that same penny pincher lives inside of me now, though his grip has lessened a bit. I still have a personal stash of green - a piggy bank if you will - that I use to buy my adult version of Legos, things that are not essential to the running of our household, but that bring joy to my soul - music, travel, entertainment... So when my family went through a financial hard spot this summer it felt like complete poverty when we broke into my little piggy bank to cover the bills. Intellectually I know it's silly that while sitting in my home (a palace by Haitian standards) with a well stuffed pantry and comfortably cooled by A/C that I could even entertain the though of poverty, but I did.
Thank God I didn't wallow for too long, but I did none the less and I am embarrassed for it. But, in another way, we are all poor; we are all poor in spirit. On our own we have no spiritual wealth, our accounts are empty and any check we write will come up insufficient. Without God, their is no currency of spirit, anything else but God's wealth is counterfeit! To ignore our poverty is a travesty. If we are ignorant of our poverty we can not be BLESSED - our knowing of our poverty blesses us because then we can be directed to the kingdom and the King from which all blessings flow.
Through my poverty I inherit the entire kingdom of heaven. This is such an awesome truth that I don't think I will ever get my head fully around it. The economy of scale that God works in is so above my pay grade, but none the less, I benefit from His grace. Thank you God.
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
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